Vice-President Mike Pence has died from complications arising from the coronavirus, or COVID-19. The former Indiana governor was chosen to lead the publicity fight against the pandemic.
In order to quell fears of the virus, Vice-President Pence was having staffers inject his body with strains of the virus up to 100 times an hour. Relying solely on information from President Trump, Pence believed the virus was simply a “Democratic party hoax.”
“Quickly, get Mother. I think there is a spot left on my testicles for another injection of this fake virus,” the VP was overheard saying in his final moments.
Minutes later, the high-pitched whining and screaming of Old Testament Bible verses was heard from the VP’s office as staffer’s handled snakes and spoke in tongues in the lobby.
The White House refused to comment on the news. Memorial Services for the Vice President will be scheduled soon, according to his office.