Nancy Pelosi has Killed Paul Ryan and Absorbed His Quickening

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Nancy Pelosi has Killed Paul Ryan and Absorbed His Quickening

As is the tradition in American politics, the incoming Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi has murdered the outgoing Speaker, Paul Ryan by removing his head. Shortly after, winds stirred and Ryan’s quickening found its way to Pelosi, who absorbed the energy in a fantastic display.

There Can Be Only One!

“There can be only one!” Pelosi loudly proclaimed as Ryan’s tattered carcass was carried away by trembling Republican staffers.

Pelosi is hoping to lead Democrats and end the government shutdown as the new congress is seated.

This piece is obviously not based in reality, just brilliant satire. If you didn’t get that, you probably have some real issues.

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