Vice-President Mike Pence has contracted the coronavirus, or COVID-19, as it is known. The former Indiana governor was chosen to lead the publicity fight against the pandemic as the leader of the Coronavirus Task Force.
In order to quell fears of the virus, Vice-President Pence was having staffers inject his body with strains of the virus up to 10 times an hour. Relying solely on information from President Trump, Pence believed the virus was simply a “Democratic party hoax.”
“Quickly, get Mother. I think there is a spot left on my testicles for another injection of this fake virus,” the VP was overheard saying before collapsing.
Minutes later, the high-pitched whining and screaming of Old Testament Bible verses was heard from the VP’s office as staffer’s handled snakes and spoke in tongues in the lobby.
Medical Bills Go Fund Me
Health care coverage for government employees has been defunded so drastically under the Trump administration, Vice President Pence has started a Go Fund Me to pay for medical expenses.